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Posted 9/12/17 (Tue)

By John M. Andrist

For years I have thought about timing television programming to find out how much of a TV hour is devoted to commercials.
But alas .  .  .
If Americans are addicted to TV, and it must certainly be so, they are equally addicted to the advertising.
One of my TV addictions is football, and it seems like that is the programming where they load up commercial time.
Most of my TV time is spent when I am sitting at my computer. It’s easy to follow a baseball game while I’m working my keyboard.
I must tune out most of the commercials, because I know I am tuned out to some of the programming.
I can’t think of anything I ever purchased because of a TV commercial, but somebody must buy the stuff. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t have football to watch.
Since we entertain ourselves by watching the TV, it surprises me that advertisers don’t make more entertaining commercials.
Miller Lite made a lot of them that I liked, and who could hate that Aflac duck? It seems like more people would buy if they got an Alka Seltzer laugh out of the TV ad.
Most commercials I can take or leave, but there are some that are downright annoying. Number three on my hate list are lottery ads. They spend our tax dollars to buy commercials that coax us to buy tickets they know are going to produce more losers than winners. Government work at its worst. 
Number two on my list are gold and silver hawkers. They must sell a lot of it with their “can’t lose” pitch. A friend of mine wonders, “If as they say it is certain to rise in value, why do they want to sell it?”
Likewise, the guy who promises to manage your money in such a way that you are protected if the market retreats, but rewarded when it rises. No way it can happen. Basic nonsense.
But what makes me want the most to stick a finger in my throat are money sucking lawyer commercials. Also known as class action specialists. 
You know, some woman who used baby powder got cancer. So they search for others who used the same baby powder and got cancer.
If they can find enough of them they start a class action lawsuit, promising to share part of the money they are able to rake in from intimidated companies they threaten to bankrupt.
How long Lord, must we listen to asbestos and mesothelioma bait?
It seems to me their own morals are what is bankrupt.

Home sweet home
When Irma was bearing down on the Florida coast this week, it made us wonder why every Floridian didn’t just cut and run.
But on second blush it struck me that home is where most of us long to be in times of serious trouble -- when we are sick, when we are frightened, when we are hungry or tired.
Show me the way to go home” has a ring for everyone, not just those who have drank too much.
President Roosevelt often said his favorite song was “Home on the Range,” even though he never lived or spent time on the range.
“Home Sweet Home” penned by Stephen Foster tells about a weary, old man who was totally spent and weary, and just wanted to go home.
At the end of a long journey, isn’t there a special feeling for all of us when we walk through the door? Home again! 
And, of course, all of us have special feelings of remorse when we read about or see a homeless person.
Intellectually we know home is not always a safe place. None of us long to hang around when the place is on fire.
And yet all animals are instinctively drawn to quarters they regard as safe, aka “home.” 
I’m crawling into my bed now, grateful to be safe in my own home. I think I’ll say a little prayer for those who can’t.